I hated labels anyway. People didn't fit in slots like sorting the mail. We were so mutable, filled with fear and desire, ideals and angles, changeable as water.
- Janet Fitch.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

HIATUS! :D

3:17 AM

Saturday, July 11, 2009

All this studying is only a means to an end. Time to start seriously considering what that end would be.
currently, interested in -
Journalism.Psychology. Scriptwriting. Media-film/music( but only overseas coz the market here is so small) Clean energy.Business( with a social bent)
they are all over the place!
need to check uni admissions stuff soon.

--
life is quite zzzz. it's only the 2nd day of the what? 2nd week. gawshhhh. but i guess school is quite a happy place still. got great company.
plus this week i'm actually kinda "busy". already v tired this week. okay i solemnly swear to settle down after this week! no more going out. unless it's a once in a blue moon thing. pep talk kind of drove in the point that A'S ARE COMING HOMGOSH and these are prob the most important results ever. it will determine the future. regardless of whether i need to obtain really good grades for courses (doubt so coz i'm not aiming for medicine/law etc which require stellar grades & more) but i need and want to prove to myself (& others) that i can do it. that even if i lack interest (merely an excuse), i can do it if i put my mind to it just because. determination, self-motivation and all that. that i have it. that I CAN. that if i can do as well as people who are interested in these things, i can probably do anything i set my mind to. if i can get through all this and emerge victorious, i think i'd be much more confident and sure that i can really do well in something i really like.
to be honest, think i only have such expectations coz of my environment. it's not really self-created. i'm definitely not really ambitious or a perfectionist.
kk shall just see how blocks go overall.

SL debrief tomorrow, lunch with chuazy @ aston's (cheap good western food! it's this cafe near east coast. the side dishes esp fries are yummilicious coated with spicy looking powder and their icelemontea is to die for yumz), classouting on sat + harrypudder with chew&yanne (got free tickets :DDD, btw i've never read any of the books. gave up after the first page of the first book. just didn't really like it) uni fair on sunday.
okay FOCUS MODE.

pmz, i still wanna catch the ecp sunset with you though.

on a much happier note,
IGNORANCE BY PARAMORE IS OUT!!!!!!!!!! didn't really like it at first, but upon several more listens, it really just grew on me :) strongly recommend it! too sad there aren't many paramoreworshippers around D: I love how they can make mean lyrics sound catchy. kidding. but really, i can identify with the lyrics, it's like i'm suddenly opening my eyes to the mean/hypocritical things around me. which i am choosing to ignore. i have come to the conclusion that people can say/do what they want, it won't affect me. i shall just do my own thing, be my own person. it would be stupid to actually care about things, just saps your energy and wastes time that could be spent on more important things.
take the high road.
remember, sacrifices have to be made.
life's a bitch and we do have to live with it.
but what's real or meant to last will remain. karma.
you will survive!

7:19 PM

had a really really really x 100000 interesting talk with a long lost friend.learnt a lot of fascinating things. it's glad to know we're still on the same page and all, even if our books are all over the place. not so subtle reference to the messedupstate of erm studythings.

k anyway quite a lot of things to be done. but i've gotten back true drive! i possess concrete motivation because of exciting ... progressions and not some bizarre optimistic attitude that burns out brightly. sometimes one should not try to be happy if it takes too much effort. no point always seeing the good side when .. there honestly is no good side. despite everything, i think the benefits outweigh the costs and it will be a real change. even though ... hm. ladeedum.

on a sidenote, i really am quite proud of several friends! or maybe i just think people who take unconventional routes are very cool coz it takes quite a huge leap of faith and passion. must not underestimate the power of passion. i think it spurs people on to really achieve life-changing things (even if it is merely within oneself, the change would be enjoyed by others too) and brings a much great deal of happiness in life. screw what the rest of the world thinks if you're sure you're happy with what you want. haha much easier said than done.
what they said is really true. ultimately, we should not conform to society's mould. Ideally one's interests would be conventionally successful. Also, i think that quite many people who don't know what they want or know what they want but don't think it's practical just follow the crowd, and actually there's nothing wrong with it, but they might be sacrificing their happiness for it. which is a huge loss! and it's so not worth it! because ultimately it is our personal happiness that matters the most! like so what if you think you're doing something that socially acceptable but honestly deep down you know you're not really happy with it and you have another burning desire? you're only putting yourself thru suffering. i think i've seen many people who resign themselves to things they don't really want but are much more practical. cannot blame that (who knows if i will end up as one of the above D: but i honestly hope not) but you only live once! and your career takes up so much of your life. hm but some people do it for financial security so they can start a family. that's valid i guess.

kinda wish i had something i really love a lot a lot. do people really actually genuinely know what they want? or do they let others decide it for them? i've always said i wanted to be a journalist and i'm still quite sure i'd love to do something along that line. it requires dynamism, good social skills, squeezing things out of people, wordplay, thinking out of the box and i think it's quite challenging coz i have a lot to brush up on in terms of writing but it's something i enjoy. the problem is sometimes i doubt it coz it isn't really seen as being successful plus the pay is not really very good (depending on the country you work in though, that's why if opportunities abound, my choice will be easier) other real real real dream jobs are to be a scriptwriter/ songwriter for sitcoms/films/shows and well duh songs respectively. or creative director/manager of a record company. break into hollywood, or even better the indie market and unsaturate the market of the typical blockbusters/commercialised music. okay but you can't exactly study for such a thing right. maybe a degree in arts/media/mass comm.? is it very unconventional? actually it is! i was looking at the list of scholarship talks and no one chose the same as me. @ least from my class. i think it was kinda silly to pick a uni though. should've chosen a talk from a company or the foreign affairs one which i'm actually more interested in.
actually maybe i should do pharm. pharm is lucrative. but honestly, molecules bore me. and i cannot do research work.
interested also in psychology which i think i've some personal affinity with. shall not elab. but human behaviour has always fascinated me. though i think i will get really sad if i treat people with mental disorders for instance, because i would feel very sorry for them and then sort of guilty at pitying people who might not want to be pitied. and i might become clinically depressed as a result and have to undergo treatment myself. not very appealing. but there're different types of psych.
acually i think being a social worker is great, but for various reasons, i doubt i'd be one. unless maybe after i retired. but then missionary plans would be a much more noble alternative.
actually i don't do things for the sake of being different. even though i like the idea of being different. it's just that competition is tough(here), plus i know that i do not possess innate talent or interest at courses like medicine (actually really admire people who go into this field coz it takes a lot of dedication, independence etc and it's the most ideal job! you're helping people and there's prestige and money and fulfillment oh but it's so time-consuming), Law ( erm no comment. ) Business is quite cool i guess. honestly not rly interested but the pay is good. hrm. another line of thinking is i deal with something i am okay with and work real hard at it for 10years or so to earn fast money so i can retire earlier and have more money to enjoy life. but i think it's not so easy to get out of that cycle. Shall be interning at ML to see if i can take it. but my aunt might've become a buddhist because of her job and that just goes to show how stressful it can be. she's into chanting and all. to my credit, i probably can do okay at something even if i don't like it if i really work hard at it (haha my chinese is even worse than bio yet i still scraped an A but it took many tuition lessons and patience from a very dedicated teacher and encouragement from a cheenafied friend) but i don't want to be just mediocre ... which i know i will be if i don't really enjoy my job because self-motivation is a major driving factor. think that ultimately, i'd rather survive on less (but still decent pay) but be very good at & very fulfilled with my career. i kinda like not fully knowing where i'll end up actually. i like things a bit hazy-looking. but one thing i hope is that my career becomes one of the best parts of my life. heck it can become my life if i love it to death. i won't mind working irregular hours, surviving on caffeine, throwing myself into dangerous situations (okay this is taking it a bit too far), not having that much of a social life, if it meant being around similarly passionate people who share the same beliefs and verve for the job.

i shall go do proper research starting from now. but homework is staring me in the face. it sucks to have to contend with so much. like having to do work and erm start planning for something that might well constitute the rest of your life.

studying is a means to an end. and we must not lose sight of the end, as it is what we are working for.
buaibuai, hiatus! hope to be back with clearer uni ideas after the fair/research.
back to workie!

7:25 AM

Friday, July 10, 2009

Break after 1 month of 'holidays'. What break? At least we caught julia roberts in action.

Around 2 more months? Prelims are ultra important.
regardless of how people might claim not to be caring about it yet, ya know for sure people are in intense mode. Well most. Will discuss this after blocks reflectionsxzx. time to get the ball rolling, and its good not to care what others think in this aspect. Not saying that everyone is pretensive about it, no one wants to look overly mugger, but I think we all know what really goes on. Quite amazing how some ppl outrightly lie about it. Just a very few. Oh well. Would rather put in consistent effort than slog it out later on. Even if it is always nicer to use inertia as an excuse. Thanks study buddies for the positive attitudes and adopting a pro-mugging stance. We shall follow our own rhythms. Haha one whole past on mugging go me!
actl its quite interesting that friends in other classes view 75 as a very muggerclass.
on a sidenote, I really want to study overseas! A lot of ppl seem to want ta go to new York U. Bet its coz of gossip girl!
Plzz don't impose your expectations on ppl. And yes I agree that ppl should be more tactful. Don't go round assuming things d00d. Probably slip of the mind but er you're just gonna ruin everyone's impressions of you. Maybe we are all guilty of double standards (or is it just diff expectations and abilities) but some things just cross the line. And ppl can't blame others for being insensitive if they themselves are guilty of it. Not referring to an event involving myself btw. Neither am I referring to a particular event.
Mtv numbs the brain. In a nice way! :) :) :)))))
school days have been rather happy so far. Great company! Been laughing a lot and it really makes one feel lighter and smilier haha.
Quite sad I can't go to the zoo with kewei and teoshuyi to see the animals. I love animals! Except insects. Trying out new tuitionclass coz the current one just dumps essays on us. Plus side is sec2bffs are going too. Eggciting.
actl I feel kinda free now. Is there homework?
Kkkk more action less talk. Small mercies and meetups (yumz astons on fri with baba), occasional movieshoppingstudyevents, (anyone wants to watch sunshine cleaning w me:) ?) regular study sessions will sustain me thru this mindguzzling period. Bonne chance!

5:18 AM

Friday, July 03, 2009

I will get over this period and look back and laugh at how senseless it was.
I will not think that life is meaningless just because of the routine that i have to prepare myself for over the next few months.
I will relax and keep an open mind and a positive attitude.

Come on come on come on, it will be over before you know it.
--
The past week has really been an emotional rollercoaster to the point that exams seemed meaningless. life itself too. which is much scarier. Was near the point of giving up. even before the papers. bleh. and it wasn't exactly due to lack of preparation. more of a sudden mood change and really scary shifts in mentality. Think the horrible 'holidays' just compounded the burning out syndrome. i guess it's better to know how low i can get now instead of breaking down before the real deal. oh man i really hope it's just a phase or very screwed up hormonal levels. i'd rather be blissfully unaware than in this pendulumish state. being happy should come naturally instead of taking effort. i think the real problem is that i'm losing self-motivation, because i can't find purpose in what i'm doing, which makes me dispirited, leading to irrational/unhappy thoughts/moods, then it basically all goes downhill from there. this cannot happen!!! blah. ergh okay shall just distract myself . i'm joining yoga classes too, to gain a more peaceful state of mind. i need a lot a lot a lot of faith.
Great outing yest guys! Sorry for being a wet blanket. But it's wonderful that we can really mindspam each other, even though we might not know how to phrase it sometimes. btw, transformers sucks! good special effects i guess, but there is totally no storyline! I swear everyone is watching it for megan fox. Only good thing is the soundtrack & the harry potter trailer.
sunshine cleaning! "bonding amidst blood splatters" sounds really heartbreaking and funny @ the same time. and yes, it was produced by the same company who distributed little miss sunshine.
one more paper. 2 actually.
back to mulling over stuff like who i'm going out with on wednesday/what we are going to do (i am highly in demand! -egos a bit-)+ planning my list of happy things to look forward to and being practical, emotionally resilient, positive and being able to see the beauty in life! ahhhhhh breathes out.

7:26 AM

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

无论怎么样, 不能 自暴自弃 !

5:17 AM

Friday, June 26, 2009

Avril lavigne's let go remains as one of my fave albums ever :D lyrics are not great, but i like the simplicity of it and how genuinely it captures the feeling of being a teenager. she inspired a lot of my thoughts, a lot of craziness, and allowed me to cliche as it sounds, LET GO and enjoy that awkward growing up stage. some say she's a manufactured product of her record company, changing images like a chameleon, but there's sth about her music that makes me believe (or want to believe) that some of it was indeed genuine. i salute the ultimate sk8er girl! ah quite sad that evan and avril didn't end up together. let go is one of those albums i can listen from start to end without skipping any songs. once an avriladdict, forever an avriladdict, birthday celebrations notwithstanding.


WWW.HEYCHERI.LIVEJOURNAL.COM
this is so addictive. it seems superficial BUT there are insightful posts. very thought-provoking! really in your face honest and insightful. between the makeup/clothes/camwhore ones. easily offensive though, haha. well i guess different people have different lifestyles. anyway, they're insightful in the most humourous way. like you read and go I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS. EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS. plus if she was always thoughtful, it wouldn't be any fun. i really really x 100000 love the fact that she's so outspoken and brazen and honest(and vulgar haha) about everything. to be genuine you have to risk offending people, you'd inevitably get people who hate/dislike you. i think it's cool/fine to be opinionated. not to be a bitch and dampen everyone's spirits, but well, to have your own stand. for a large part of my life, i've wanted/thought i wanted to be the one who everyone likes or at least has a nice/good impression of. i'm pretty sure that's changing. i want to hold tight to my own opinions, not lose myself in the way i present myself to others. in fact, if everyone had a good impression of me, then i'd probably be changing myself to conform to their expectations/restraining myself. tso now, i wouldn't go out of the way to talk to someone whom i don't respect/like. (not thattttt many, i don't have bad opinions of most people unless it's glaringly obvious that they have traits i majorly dislike or intuition) unless they talked to me first. i wouldn't wanna give people the wrong idea. i think it's more hypocritical to pretend to be nice when you really have a bad impression of someone. i mean you don't have to be downright nasty, but i think it's really fake. maybe it's just me. but i dislike it. it's deceiving yourself (hello, it compromises on YOUR beliefs. even really mean or insecure people wouldn't want that happening to them right) and being a hypocrite to the other person, esp if the person finds out what you really think of him/her. be who you really are! let people know (some of) what you feel! if not the only person who's gonna be upset is yourself. and why would anyone wanna risk their happiness for people who are not worth it?
this is something my friends have taught me too. we should learn to respect people for who they are, hear them out, assuming they want to be heard/understood, only then can you really discover who people are and make FRIENDS that are more than just ... friends.
i know, i judge people. yeah sometimes it's really uncalled for. people just label others as bitches coz of hearsay/appearances/stereotypes. so what? those people should continue to be who they are. i think it's more important to be real to oneself and one's real friends, i mean if you're loyal to people who matter, you can't be that horrible a person. there has to be some basis for the hearsay (or maybe not) but should just lead their lives the way they want to without having to care about so many other things that are so insignificant. more important than pleasing the crowd anyway. self-benefit works well here because it's no use losing yourself to people who don't give a damn. if you think what you're doing is right and you have a moral compass, go ahead. you don't have to care what others think. "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter"
there're many blogs with bloggers i respekkkt a great deal for their attitudes and openness. shall reveal them if anyone is interested. i shall practise what i preach from now on.
thanks, heycheri for the empowering entries!



zamszamszamszams. can't wait for this friday and next wednesday. till then, bye!

6:31 AM

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

warning - longest post ever ever ever in the history of EVAR.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW!! What a Ride!!"
--from heycheri


one of my lifelong ambitions is to participate in a spelling bee!!! was watching a bit of one on CNN, and these spellers are fantastic. of course they have received lifelong training, but they are still incredibly smart! how do they memorise everything? they have to study the root words, which originate from latin/french/spanish/greek etcetc. even if most of the words were quite elusive like .. selho and crystosphene. spelling bee~~~~~ my inner nerd is coming out.
sadly, i think i'm too old. but i shall try reading the entire dictionary next time! being a word nerd like dc would be quite cool. the nationwide spelling bee is quite prestigious in america supposedly.
okay i think i shall start paying attention to dictionary.com's daily email updates.
---
after some consideration, i'd say that to have really good relationships of any kind, there has to be a line drawn to the amount of expectations you have. it will be very unlikely that the other party has the same type/amount of expectations as yourself, and a good friend once told me that it's precisely because her best friends are her best friends that she does not have expectations of them. i really admire her attitude, i don't think most of us can achieve that, haha or maybe some people don't even bother thinking about such things. but yes we don't have to lower our expectations, but we must be open-minded, coz we really cannot expect others to see things our way. (private lang KI symposium thingie) it must be somewhat mutual. trust must be built and space must be given (yes space is vital actually and may make a friendship even stronger, can't stand neediness if i ever become overpossessive please slap me) don't overanalyse, just live in the moment while looking back without regret and looking forward in anticipation. of course it's nowhere near that simple. a lot of other things come into the mix. rapport, chemistry, wavelengths, circumstance, fate, pride, priority etcetcetc. and of course it can be intangible too, because not everything about why people click has to make sense. if you could completely analyse it, it wouldn't be that special anymore. imo, a real/true friend would be someone who wants exactly for you what they would want for themselves, while taking into consideration your disparities, who GETS you, and is on who would selflessly do things for you, who would bother to understand you and make the effort to keep the relationship strong, even if you're miles away. who would willingly hurt you for your own good. being brazenly honest. telling you things about yourself or your decisions that are flawed, give you proper real advice instead of asking you to cheer up (assuming they're good at it) and then challenging you to overcome them and grow stronger. they would really just accept you for who you are even after seeing your deepest flaws and darkest sides, even if what you are is completely different from them. whom you could be completely silent with, and rant incessantly in front of, and always be comfortable in the presence of. it might contain even intermittent intervals of absence, but once you've attained it, that's a friend who'll stay with you for life coz beyond a point, what your friend does for you wouldn't really matter anymore. you wouldn't expect them to coz you know they would surely do what they think is best for you and you would do the exact same for them. someone whom you really would like to spend your whole life getting to know and doing stuff with. you wouldn't be angry if he/she forgot your birthday or forgot to reply you on msn( haha as i sometimes do) you'd surpass all the conditionals that hinder most relationships. a lofty ideal? basically, a real friend would understand and be.if i found such a friend, i would die happy. of course, it'd be challenging trying to fulfill all that for a friend, but if someone were willing to put in all that effort for me too, then hurray. it's another lifelong ambition, haha. well hopefully i'm getting there. ohmy but everyone's gonna be getting hitched, which will be a major impediment.

it's kinda silly to hang on to a lot of friendships if it really isn't working out. & please do not get emo about it. emo-ing is wasted energy that could be spent forging stronger bonds/improving yourself/doing altruistic things. (yes my dears, isn't friendship selfish to a certain extent? even if it's symbiotic. don't even get * started on romantic love she claims it's a disease) i think it's okay to let go. many sacrifices have to be taken if you want to find real friendship. which i still have no idea how to define but nevermind. not being mean or anything but well, we only have limited time for limited people, (plus wouldn't it be nice to do things for people other than those who are as fortunate as you? voluntourism ftwwww) and if one day you realise that your friends are people you can have fun with but can't really confide in, who won't really be there in the time of a true crisis, then you've got noone to blame but sadly, yourself. unless those evil friends are the ones who don't bother reciprocating then they're just being ungrateful a$$es. but we have to rmb that we can choose whoever our friends are, given favourable circumstances. we are responsible for our own happiness and of course should as much as possible try contributing to certain others'.
** btw, i really don't mean to offend/upset anyone, it's just my opinion really and i'm sure everyone has a different idea of what friendship is. and if i sound like i'm trying to er rationalise it, it's really coz i've got nothing better to do. okay i think this kinda supports my point that hardly anything is altruistic. like maybe some altruism exists in almost everyone, but how often does it really emerge.

in a more personal context, though we are all basically fighting for our self-interest to get our desired grades and portfolio, let us not forget the people who have been there all the while. though occasionally i feel bummed by how distant and displaced things seem, and how things just seem to be going against us and well how competitive and bitchy and unjust the world can be, it's part of growing up, and i have some aweshumpalz to vent it all out with ;D ohnoes this is about friendship again. btw family is exceedingly important too! it's just that we know they'll always be there for us and likewise so it tends to be taken for granted. erhm then again, family can quite complicated. parental/sib pressure, expectatns, a lot of possiblities.

I DON'T HATE WORK ITSELF (EVEN THOUGH IT IS QUITE A BITCH, it's a good distraction), just BEING FORCED TO WORK. CONTINUOUSLY. AND SEEING OTHER POOR PEOPLE BEING REDUCED TO THAT IN ORDER TO MOVE AHEAD WITH LIFE. sigh.
i know this might sound immature/unappreciative (i know kids want to study, but don't have a chance and we should be grateful. well if they were us, i don't think it would be as appealing would it) etcetcetc, but i really am quite pissed off at my education (or lack of it). i don't think it's unreasonable to be angry when you basically have to memorise all this info (believe me i have nothing against the subs i'm taking.) spill it out in the right manner (because even for lit, there is a model answer, and you can't deviate that far from it) and then basically forget everything. even the teachers seem amused at this (*&*&* because "just remember it this way then u can forget about it after the exam is over". and thanks to all of this, i am probably gonna become quite mentally constrained. hello lack of brain space which has been filled with things i'm not even sure i recall anymore. the funny thing is i don't know who i am blaming. this is probably a Ftheworld episode. but i still like most of the world. erm the conformist/socialpressureykiasusingapore mindset? okay it's not all stupid of course and to some people, what we're learning is useful, but u expect us to cram like crazy then forget everything right after it's over. that's plain dumb. the best thing is i am actually eating right into this conspiracy theory (see i even sound insane enough to label it as such). a conspiracy. HAHAHA.
but if you say it's dumb or if you do badly people WON'T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY. they'll think it's sour grapes. "oh you can't do as well as us. no wonder your attitude is like that" i suppose i can't say that of nice people but i know there are some who think that way and look down on others. of course it's different with people from other schools. it makes you realise that hey the world exists out of this school (it's not even hc. it's not our fault we are forced into this mould right), and it makes me want to detach myself before i get too immersed in it. which is probably one of the reasons why we're doing this. to prove them wrong. but i don't think many people enjoy studying. really smart people like fl hate mugging too. which is why i don't understand how we do it. HOW. urgh.
anyway i also want to say to many people who feel resigned to the sad state of our lives, DON'T GIVE UP HOPE. one day after all of this is over, you can do what you want.if you really want what you want. honestly, i dont think many people want what they think they want. that might include me. i feel like i'm studying to take revenge. this is really ()*(*(** okay fine. after blocks 2 i shall sort out my thoughts and just finally hopefully get into the zone. THE ZONE. i only hope i can get out of that before i realise my life is headed in the wrong direction. i really don't want to end up wasting my life away for the next few dunno how many donkey years.
okay i need to chillax now. breatheeeeeee.
i feel damn amused at how people actually think I LOVE STUDYING. my neighbours, apparently. do people really think that lowly of me? ;'( oh well. the secret life of the singaporean teenager. guess what. we don't love it. we bear with it. i feel even sadder for younger children/youths. they will be burned out by the time they reach our age. think it's getting harder for them. when we were -p6, did we have so many commitments? don't think so. poor poor children. when i see them on the mrt, i think, well, you're smiling now i know we should be happy right that we're not a 3rd world country facing epidemics diseases poverty, they definitely deserve more empathy and help, but well call me a desensitised teenager who cannot see the bigger picture beyond her insignificant life; i'm sorry i think we are suffering too.
i think that was the most incoherent i've been but who cares. i'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. this was an outburst but i think i do feel this way. like deeeeeeeeeeep down. and i better stop it because it's ALEVELS YEAR and you can't be doing badly for that. it determines YOUR LIFE. but i'm not going to allow other people to determine my definition of success and happiness no way. i shall try not to. herh. uhhum so i shall ignore my innate instincts and treat studying as a necessary evil. study buddies you're in for a treat. but i think you guys were really quite encouraging. we must continue to psyche one another up. and survive till a's are over. and pls shoo away any bad karma i may have gotten after ranting for blocks 2. blocks i love you for blocking my mind. blockies darling. hmm okay i think i'll be all right. just needed to get that out.

i think i think way too much before examtime. the info overload just makes my brain want to escape to somewhere else. okay shall ask my braino to shutup now. okay it is thinking of asymptotes now. mathematical ones! no more blogging till after 'xams!
okay i shall ignore ranty thoughts and pretend to be able to tolerate exams. exams.are.good. for.you. gooooood.exams. happy. yayz.

5:14 AM